Life Musings :: On Change

 Life musings, on change

One of the things I’ve really enjoyed about getting older is knowledge I’ve gained about myself. Sure, there are always certain things I’ve known – spiders terrify me, I’m sometimes afraid of the dark, I prefer being with friends and family over being alone – but there are those other things, the deeper, more personal facts, that take a little more life experience to truly understand.

My attitude towards change is one of those things gained only through experience. I had always considered myself a person open to change – excited and ready to dive into a new adventure. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to see that my personal preference is quite the opposite. I’m not necessarily change-averse, but it’s become very clear to me that I find comfort in the expected and understood, and tend to shy away from the unknown. And while I do understand the benefit that can come with change, the fear of making the wrong decision typically prevents me from making any decision, hence why I often remain with what I know.

Here’s the thing – going about life in this way isn’t wrong, but the decision to remain in the same circumstances (good or bad) can limit the opportunities that come with something new. And sometimes, shaking things up is good, necessary even, to keep your life fresh, interesting, and full of opportunity – even those anxious nerves that come with uncertainty can be refreshing every once in awhile.

It took me a major life change to realize this.

Earlier this summer, I made the decision to switch jobs after more than three years with one company – a company, I should add, that served as my second family and closest companions. The decision was not an easy one. It involved many sleepless nights, bouts of anxiety, and seemingly unstoppable tears because I loved what I had (a great job with great coworkers in a great environment), and I had no idea that a different opportunity could provide much better than that. But despite the fear, there was a small internal push from inside (that part of me that is welcoming of new experiences) that convinced me that maybe this change would be OK.

So I took a terrifying leap of faith, and made one of the biggest, most unexpected changes in my life.

I’m just a week into my new job, and those nerves have not gone away; instead, they’ve taken something of a different form. Yes, the fear of not fitting in and of having made the wrong decision is still alive and well, but the nerves also come from something else – excitement. I made a major life change, and it’s scary – terrifying even – but also exhilarating. I decided to try, and even if that decision turns out to be the wrong one, I still made it. And it feels kinda nice.

I don’t think I’ll ever be someone who can make constant changes (I’ll always find comfort in what I know), but this might have opened the door for some growth in the change department. Making the nerve-wracking decision to switch companies showed me that change isn’t necessarily bad, it’s just different.

What are your thoughts about change? And how do you help make change easier to accept? Please share your thoughts because I can use all the guidance I can find.

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